Do you find that it is difficult to let go of your children at different times? Perhaps it is difficult for you when the school year begins and you hand your child off to their teacher for 8 hours a day. Summer camp approaches and you can hardly imagine not seeing your little darling for 2 weeks. I have this fear of letting go at different times. In the end, my fear is really sin, because it is a lack of trust in our Lord. I am afraid to let go for fear that something could happen. Our Sunday School lesson yesterday was really powerful. I cannot do it justice, so I will not try. However, one of the points was that a disciple is called to let go or give away EVERYTHING we have. We have to be willing to give the Lord all that we own, including our relationships and loved ones. We must love Him above all things. One of my fears is that I will lose my husband or one of our children. In reality, they are not MINE but HIS. I have to trust Him to provide and care for them, and if He calls them home, then I will trust His plan but grieve mightily. Even as I write this I fear that it is foreshadowing. Isn't it funny how Satan tempts us to not trust? He plays mean mind games.
I am sure you wonder why I am telling you all of this. It's a bit heavy for a Monday morning, isn't it? Well, our youngest daughter was invited to library time today with a new friend. She was so excited, and I was very excited for her. We arrived early so that I could get my library card before telling Hurricane goodbye. Story time began before I was finished, so Hurricane went in with a friend. Once I was ready to leave, I could not get in the room to tell her goodbye without interrupting the whole story time, so I left without telling her goodbye.
At first, I was excited to shop alone for our groceries, but then my mind starting playing tricks on me. I started missing our youngest. Sometimes she whines and keeps me from concentrating, but she is my precious constant companion. She was not with me on a day we are normally together and I missed her. Then I began to worry. What if yesterday's lesson was meant to prepare me to let her go? What if she is in an accident on her way to her friend's home? We live on a steep mountain, and accidents do happen. I trusted my new friend, but I still began to worry, so I prayed for Hurricane's safety. Again, I had to confess my lack of trust. I kept praying for her as I ran my quick errands. Finally, I was ready to climb back up the mountain.
Just as I started my car, a huge firetruck came whizzing past me in the general direction of the library. I worried a little more. What if my fear was justified? Would I see her in some awful accident? I drove forward, hoping to find out why the fire truck was called. Again, I was troubled by my worry. We are told that the Lord takes care of us. Why can't I fully trust Him sometimes?
As I rounded the corner to go up the mountain, I saw in my rear view mirrow a car that I believe was my new friend carrying her daughters and my Hurricane. My eyes welled up with tears as I praised God for showing me that HE is real. He ALONE is our Great Protector. He loves Hurricane much more than I do. I climbed the mountain and watched her car climb behind me. I will pick up Hurricane in a little while, but the Lord allowed me to see her safely up the mountain! He hears our prayers, even when we are not full of faith.
