Friday, May 20, 2011

Carolina in My Mind

I have loved our new life here in Florida. It really is a wonderful place to raise a family. However, the last few months have been extremely challenging. That is an understatement. The last few months have just about robbed me of any gusto and joy. I haven't blogged because I don't like to be Debbie Downer. I have tried to glorify God in this blog and to keep a heavenly perspective during earthly trials. I still have that perspective and know that my life here on this earth is temporary. Tampa, Florida is not my final destination. Heaven is. That makes the hard days much sweeter. Knowing that I am loved by a God who is much bigger than me and my problems is what has saved me.

Nonetheless, after weeks of tough days, today has been a really tough one. In all honesty, I am sad today. I have tried to have an upbeat and happy blog. I am upbeat and happy but not right this minute. I hurt. I long to live in a place where I am related to someone in the state. I have no kin in Florida. I'm not sure "my people" every ventured this far south. Sometimes I feel like an island. Jesus is my rock, but I still can feel like I'm floating at times. He doesn't waver; my circumstances do. He is firm, steady, always here for me. I have been seeking Him and speaking to Him so much He's about to discontinue my service plan:).

I do love Tampa, and I'll be all Tampa-crazy tomorrow. But for today, Carolina is in my mind. I miss it. The lyrics below speak to me:

Carolina in my mind
(words and music by James Taylor)

In my mind, I'm gone to Carolina.
Can't you see the sunshine.
Can't you just feel the moon shinin'
Ain't it just like a friend of mine to hit me from behind.
Yes I'm gone to Carolina in my mind.

Karen, she's a silver sun.
You best walk her way and watch it shinin'.
Watch her watch the morning come.
A silver tear appearing now, I'm crying - ain't I?
I'm gone to Carolina in my mind.

There ain't no doubt in no one's mind
that love's the finest thing around.
Whisper something soft and kind.
Hey, babe, the sky's on fire, I'm dying - ain't I?
I'm gone to Carolina in my mind.

In my mind I'm gone to Carolina.
Can't you see the sunshine.
Can't you just feel the moon shining
Ain't it just like a friend of mine to hit me from behind.
Yes, I'm gone to Carolina in my mind.

Dark and silent late last night I think I might have heard the highway call
Geese in flight and dogs that bite.
And signs that might be omens say I'm goin', goin'...
I'm gone to Carolina in my mind.

With a holy host of others standing around me,
still I'm on the dark side of the moon.
And it seems like it goes on like this forever.
you must forgive me.
If I'm up and gone to Carolina in my mind.

In my mind I'm gone to Carolina.
Can't you see the sunshine
Can't just you feel the moon shinin'
Ain't it just like a friend of mine to hit me from behind.
Yes, I'm gone to Carolina in my mind.

Gone to Carolina in my mind.
Gone to Carolina in my mind.
Gone to Carolina in my mind.


The Niemeyer Nest said...

I know exactly how you feel! Carolina in my mind is one of my favorite songs. Hang in there. Tomorrow will be a new day. We try to focus on the good things about living in a new place but some days you just need to whine/vent/cry. Trust me, I have lots of those days especially when driving back from North Carolina.

Southern Living: Preppy Style said...

Oh dear, I've been there (still am). We made the big move to Florida (West Palm area) 10 years ago, no family then, no family now. And every Christmas or family visit is tough. But we are better people for this move because as you said....God meant it to be this way. Mabye we'll move back one day, but for now, we're enjoying the blissful life of Florida! Hope you have a better today tomorrow and the next!

Aundrea said...

I will pray that the Lord will bring your heart to a place of peace. He knows it well ;)

Jo said...

I'm right there with you sweetie! It is SO hard living in a state with no family near. My husbands career doesn't offer us the ability to live in my home state ... never have;never will. You have the right outlook, you know tomorrow will be a brighter day and that He has a plan for you and your sweet family.

Thinking of you ~

LPC said...

Oh, so sorry. I hope things turn around soon.

Hines-Sight said...

I'm sorry that you are going through some rough days right now. I'll be thinking of you.

Love the song. I can't imagine living anywhere else. I need to feel blessed.

Court said...

Bless your heart, don't ever feel sorry for venting, because we all understand! Carolina is somewhere in my mind every day:) I relate, and I will probably turn on some iTunes and play a little Carolina on my Mind tonight after reading this:) It is so hard to be away from your peeps--hope tomorrow's a better day.

The Entertaining House said...

Oh my sweet AHP -- I am so sorry you are feeling this way. It's hard. I know it's hard. I too am living where I do not want to be. (As you know.) I will be moving sooner -though unknown as to when - and I keep setting my sights on that day. I keep focusing on the positive. Even the worst of all possible situations have something positive. If you can look for them you can find them. And you DO have family by you... the most beautiful children and the most amazing husband ever!

Love you tons! xoxo

Preppy Sue said...

Hang in there! We too lived in Florida for 8 years without any family nearby, it was difficult at times. Trust that there's a plan for you...

bevy said...

Sweet girl... My life has been so busy that I have really not even been reading blogs - to know that you have been laying too have lots on your plate... Hugs and prayers ;)

Tickled Pink Talk said...

Oh my dear friend! Sorry that you are (were) having a sad day. It certainly sounds as though you have had a lot going on recently. Hoping your days get cheerier soon. Wish we could go grab a cup of coffee....

Jillian, Inc said...

Just now catching up on blog reading. So sorry you're having a hard time. If it helps, I can relate. I am far, far away from my family in the Midwest and I have been through a divorce and my mom's serious open heart surgery all within 6 months and I continue to struggle daily. I know I am blessed in many ways but sometimes the daily grind is very hard for me to manage alone. Thinking of you!!!!

Just Ask Beth said...

I live in Carolina with no family.sad! I do love the Carolina's, and it is ok to feel sorry for yourself from time to time, but it sounds like you have a grip on it! We may go to Tampa for a vacay...