Quite an Education OR Desperate Times call for Desperate Measures

Our children have been receiving quite an education this summer. I mean, QUITE an education. You may have read about all of the school work we've been accomplishing this summer. Perhaps it made your stomach turn and thus made you not want to be my friend. I understand. I can't believe it myself. Well, lemmetellyou about a little education. Five children and no nanny or babysitter or long lost grandmother means 5 children go everywhere Mama goes. And I do mean EVERYWHERE.
Dear DH and I are going to have a little getaway this weekend. It is long overdue. There are some other, um, unmentionables that are long overdue as well. SO... I asked the children to please go to the bathroom, gather their DSi or a good book, and hop in the car. Mama Henley was desperate. I know your minds are racing, "For what in the world could I be so desperate? Did Mama Henley take the children to the liquor store?" No! I would never do such a thing as that.
Mama Henley simply stated, "Children, we need to run an errand. You are going to wait in the waiting room while I do something and then we'll leave." Well, Mama Henley has not raised any fools. They don't overlook details... not even the tiniest one. Once we were all in the car, our son asked, "Mama, what are you going to do? Does Daddy know?"
"It's okay, darling. Daddy will understand. It won't take long," I replied.
"Mama, what are you going to do? It sounds inappropriate," our attorney son stated firmly.
"Honey, it's none of your business. It's private," I calmly replied.
"Well, Mama, it sounds inappropriate. I think you are doing inappropriate things. It's giving me the creeps," the judge offspring let me know with disgust in his voice.
At this point, I can hardly drive because of our conversation. Now where do YOU think Mama Henley was dragging her offspring, ladies? Well, a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. I was overdue and I had to be all fixed up for my trip and that was THAT.
We drove to Melt Out, a darling walk-in day spa that allows children in the waiting room. I set up not one, not two, not even three, but FIVE children in waiting room chairs. I read the board to figure out that my treatment is called the Fine Tune. I signed in and waited. Finally, Miss M called my name and I went back into a quiet room, leaving my children to wait. Let's just say that I was not having a massage. You guessed it. I was there for a bikini wax. Before you call DFACS, the children were safe and well-fed and had no idea what I was doing back there. They thought I was having a massage. Honey, after the interrogation, I NEEDED a massage. For the first time ever, I think I laughed my way through the bikini wax hearing our conversation from the car in my head and wondering what they were thinking now. Thankfully it didn't take long.
I walked out of the room to find our children calmly sitting in their chairs and eating lots of Dum dum lollipops. Don't worry; they had lunch later. I decided to go ahead and have my brows waxed while I was there. They do such a better job compared to my over-tweezing self. As I reclined in the chair, I happened to sense people watching me. I opened my eyes to see not one pair, but SIX PAIRS of eyes staring at me while sounds like, "Ooo.... ouch... yuck" filled my ears. All 5 children and Miss M were looking at my poor eyebrows being waxed. I started laughing uncontrollably at the visual of them trying to watch my OTHER wax this closely. It was too much. I am sure Miss M went home to tell her family about the crazy lady who brought her FIVE children to a bikini wax. But you know what, that's okay. I haven't had a good story in a long time, so I am happy to share, even if it is TMI and I vowed never to talk about such things on my blog. You just can't pass up a good story now, can you?