Splitting Hairs over Split Checks!

One of my pet peeves is split checks. Mind you, I don't mind splitting checks if it's understood before everyone orders. However, I cannot STAND for someone to order way more than everyone else and then to ask for the bill to be split equally so that everyone else pays for his indulgences. It's fine if it's understood in advance so that everyone orders accordingly, but it is not right to stick your friends with your part of the bill. If I want to pay for a bottle of wine that costs xyz, I'll order it. However, I don't want to pay for a bottle that is that expensive if YOU order it and then decide to share. In my mind, you ordered the bottle and are being generous to share. It is always shocking to see someone take over the ordering at the table only to find that they are not being generous but are sticking everyone else with part of their share. That is just wrong! What are your opinions?
On the other hand, I have no problem being invited to dinner with the understanding that everyone is going to pay their part. We do that a lot. There is a difference in saying, "We're going to dinner Sat night and would love it if you all can join us" versus "I'm taking some friends to dinner for my wife's birthday". When you say the latter, and assume the role of host, it is assumed that you are footing the bill for those you invited. You should not order bottles of wines and dessert and hors d'oeuvres, assuming the role of host, and then expect your guests to ante up the big ones. That is just wrong. What are your feelings on the matter? I hope I have communicated this well!