Wednesday, March 28, 2012


We are enjoying our new life in the mountains, which is quite different than our life on the Florida coast. We traded sunny skies for foggy ones this winter and enjoyed snuggles under blankets and warm fires. Spring is now here and we are enjoying sights of dogwoods and daffodils for the first time in 3 springs. It feels good to be back in the south.

People are kind to ask how we like our new home and if the move has gone well. We love our new city. It is an incredible place to live and our little community is like Mayberry. It is beautiful, safe, and the draws of a big city are right at our fingertips. People are extremely kind and welcoming. The children have settled into their new school and are all doing well.

However, the truth is, moving is hard. You have to start all over. You have to find new best friends, new doctors, new dry cleaners, new grocery stores, etc. DH and I are on the "dating circuit" trying to get to know other couples. After every dinner, we ask ourselves, "Did they like us? Did you like him? I liked her, but was he nice? Do you think our families will get along?" Just as a single woman waits for her date to call her again, we wait to see if anything will come from our dates out with other couples. It can be quite lonely. We had a wonderful group of friends in Tampa and we enjoyed spontaneous dinners out with them, nights out with the children, swimming parties, et cetera. It was comfortable. Now we are out of our comfort zone all over again.

We are extremely blessed in that our best friends from college live a mile away. They have been incredible at introducing us to all of their friends. We have received quite a welcome here. However, at the end of the day, we have to make our own bonds with these new friends. It is a part time job and it is one that is sometimes exhilarating and sometimes exhausting. Sometimes I can't wait to invite the next couple to do something and sometimes I am filled with great dread.

What does this have to do with you?, you might wonder. You have lived in the same town your entire life and you never plan to move. Who cares that Mama Henley has good days and bad days? Well, take a minute and look outside your circle of friends. Do you know a new couple in town? If you do, invite her to lunch or ask the couple to join your Supper Club as special guests. If everyone loves them, break the mold and invite them to join your group! Ask a new friend's child over for a play date. Reach out to someone you do not know well who has co-existed in your town for years and years. You never know what kind of friendship may form!

As for me, I am back to planning our next night out with another couple! Dating is tough!


Jennifer said...

I agree with you 100%! It is tough to do the meet and greet with everyone while adjusting to life in a new town. I am sure everyone likes you! Good point to invite people into our lives and to make them feel welcome. We were fortunate enough to make good friends here in Nashville very quickly after we moved here. Evie helped us out with that task. Cute children help and you have some cuties too.

3 Peanuts said...

This struck such a chord in me. We have moved a few times and it IS SO HARD in so many ways. I know exactly what you mean about making friends feeling like dating. I felt that same way.

A woman moved here this year and was in a corporate apt with her family just like we were a few years ago )and I had such s tough time). Anyway, I have reached out to her and purposefully befriended her because I so remember what it was like to be in her shoes. Thanks for the reminder. It get better. I think it takes a full year to feel at home.


Leigh Powell Hines said...

Glad to hear you are doing well.

I know exactly what you mean. Honestly, I feel as if I need to do a little bit more of that here. We tend to stick to ourselves a little too much sometimes.

The Mrs. said...

I know it's tough but before long new friends become old friends!!

Debra said...

And you thought you gave up dating when you got married. But that's exactly what it is like, isn't it. It's nice to have friends there already - kind of like having a sibling in town but it won't be long before you have your own circle of friends, too.

We live in a pretty transient town and I have a friend who is so good at including new people in things. We spend a lot of time together so I like to think that some of that has rubbed off onto me! :)

Glad you're enjoying your new town so far.

Travelbugmom said...

Miss you Mama Henely! Can't believe you moved....I too have been out of the blog world this past year, but I miss all my blog friends. GOD indeed is good and will continue to watch over your family.
HAPPY EASTER to you and your family!

Gabi said...

Hey there Mama Henley! I need to email you something, but can NOT find your email anywhere (new computer) Can you email me when you get a chance??
Miss you!! :) Gabi

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