My Calling

As parents, our pride makes us want our children to be the BEST... the BEST soccer player, the quickest learner, the most accomplished pianist, the most graceful ballerina, the one who reads the most books in his or her class, the best artist, et cetera. If you search deeply, I believe we can all admit to wanting "the BEST". As a Christian, I am continually reminded that scores on tests or goals on the field are not as important as the condition of my child's heart. The world tells us that success equals being the BEST and having the highest IQ and best skill set. Thankfully the Lord reminds us in His word, that a relationship with Him, and living our life for Him alone, is most important. As a mama, I often battle with my sinful desires for the BEST.

Since school has started, our dear teachers have called about two of our little ducklings. One is a little frustrated in reading and needs extra reinforcement at home. The other does not learn as quickly as her siblings. New concepts take her a little bit longer to sink in, and we need to reinforce those skills at home too, especially in Math. Being an education major is not the most exciting or thrilling of majors. It definitely does not promote worldly financial success. How thankful I am that I AM a teacher, and that I CAN encourage our little ones at home! God has given me the skills. I just need to use them. I often beat myself up because I have always possessed these skills, and yet with 5 children in 5 years, I tend to spend more time folding their clothes and cooking their meals than I do calling out phonograms and math facts. Yes, these phone calls are difficult, but I am thankful for them. What a gentle reminder that our children are ours for a short time. Their education rests on DH and my shoulders, not the teacher's shoulders. At the end of the day, we are their primary educators. Our teachers are there to assist us. What a blessing that our children go to a school where the largest class size is 13. One of their classes has just six students! How amazing! They are being taught a Classical Christian education where their minds are engaged at the learning stage they are in right now. Their teachers care enough to make that phone call and ask for our help at home.

Yes, I feel like I have failed our 2 little ones in some ways. But how great that God can redeem that. He has equipped me. He is gently reminding me that our children are more important than anything. Their self-worth is in the Lord, and I can encourage that by helping them sharpen their skills and by reminding them of their true worth. I am thankful to know that this is a time to circle our little ducklings and spend even more time ENGAGING them, not just co-existing with them. Often as mothers we co-exist as we work on our committee work or laundry or whatever. There is a balance. One must do our daily tasks, but I even more committed to spending more planned one-on-one time with them.

I have also made a goal to have very few weekday playdates. Their homework is more difficult this year, and we need time to relax at home, have a snack, have a little exercise and then to work on our school work. With 5 children, reading with each one 20 minutes equals one hour and 40 minutes! I am called to be home, engaged with our little ones. I am just thankful that I am aware of my calling! How is the Lord calling you this fall?

Our D

Our D is a special girl. She has a very tender and loving heart, great enthusiasm for school, and a strong ability to decipher right and wrong. We just love those qualities in her! Have you ever had a moment where you thought you were parenting well, when indeed you were not? Well, I've had many of those moments this week! One of our children needed help finishing her summer reading. She had one book left, and it was just taking her a long time to complete it with all of the distractions of summer fun, visitors, and loud siblings. I dedicated an afternoon to helping her finish the book by reading to her in my bedroom. It was a sweet time together while the other four read or played.

On Monday, I had told D that I would spend special time reading to her that night since I had spent so much time reading to her sister. D doesn't need me to read to her, but she desired the closeness that she saw me experiencing with her sister. I said I would spend that time with her without realizing that I would be at her school that evening for Orientation, and therefore, I would be unable to read to her. Tuesday morning she asked me about it, and I told her I would spend special time with her that evening. The day became full with many distractions and activities, and by bed time, I simply wanted everyone in bed for their first day of school. I told D I could not read to her when she asked me during the flurry of our nighttime routine.

DH heard tears from the child who had not finished her book, so he asked me to please finish the last chapter with her. We sat downstairs and finished the book. I felt confident I was doing the right thing by helping our child. Then D quietly came down the stairs with tears brimming in her sweet big brown eyes. "Mama, you have hurt my feelings," D said meekly.
"How have I hurt your feelings, D?", I asked. She explained that I had told her that I could not read to her, when it was past her time, yet I took the time to read to her sister.
It struck me and it hurt. She was right. I thought I was doing the right thing by helping her sister, but in so doing, I had inadvertently hurt our other child whom I had promised I would spend time reading with her. Wow. I confessed my mistake and asked for her forgiveness. Though it was past her bedtime and the night before school started, we spent time making brownies together for the teachers. D was so thrilled to have that one -on-one attention, and I was so blessed to spend it with her. I am so thankful for how the Lord uses our children to teach us. I am thankful for D's gentle nature. She did not berate me, rather, she very quietly explained how she had been hurt. We are told in the Bible to go to the one who has offended us, and that is just what she did! We are so thankful for our precious D!!!