Only Me

Last fall I told the funny story of how a girl who sent her children to the same preschool thought I had it all together, when really I don't. I seem to have a problem with pants and undergarments!!! I went to pick up a pair of pants from the tailor today. While I was there, one of the most fit and thin women I had ever seen was trying on her clothes and of course having her SHIRTS altered b/c they were a little too big on the sides because she was so doggone tiny. I couldn't decide if maybe she works as a dancer at night, if you get my drift, so I kept staring at her. Her face looked old, but she had a rockin' body, and she proceeded to show me how firm her tooshy was too (it was also quite tan!). Needless to say, I was a bit distracted and I quickly tried on my pants and gathered my things to leave. I glanced in the mirror and thought my pants sure didn't look as cute as I thought they did in the store on Friday, but oh well, they're mine now and I better get back on that Wii Fit! As I settled back into my car, something kept stabbing me in the tummy. I looked to see if something was attacking me and realized I had my pants on backwards. Again. I have done this before!!! When I arrived at Publix, I just turned those babies around in my car. I happened to tell one of my best friends about it, and she says I am going to make a name for myself in our new town as the crazy pant lady. I guess we all have to find our way to fit in, don't we?! Hilarious!

Only me

I have just laughed my pants off in the mall... literally!!! I had 3 quick errands to do at the mall, only to discover the place closes at 9pm and I arrived at 8:15pm. Not exactly a lot of time to shop, I tell ya. I ran into Nordstrom to try on some black patent Revas, and I told him I was going to try on another shoe at Cole Haan but that I would be back before the store closed. Thus began my race!! I raced to Bose to see about having our speaker repaired. The man was quite chatty and wanted to show off the latest Sound Dock 10, as I tried to race out the door to the Apple Store. I don't know if my smile was extra big or what, but I made new friends in all 3 stores. At the Apple store, the man graciously exchanged my software and gave me some little hints that will help this hurried mama of 5. I raced out the door and had to run the ENTIRE LENGTH of the mall to get back to Nordstrom. I had about 8 minutes and counting. No time for Cole Haan. Forget the Nike Air ballet flats. I RACED to Nordstrom, and as I ran, my pants started falling down, so I yanked them back up. They fell again, so I tugged harder. Next thing I know I am running so fast that my pants AND my underwear are falling. So I ran through the mall as the Hurried Henley I am, holding our Bose speaker in one hand and jerking my pants back up with the other. I finally had to take off my shoes & just run. I know I was a sight to see!! Can't you just see those security guards in their office looking at their security screens? "Sir, I see a barefooted woman tearing through the mall with a large package in one hand, and what appears to be her pants in the other... will you check & see what in the world is going on?" "Ten Four, Buddy. I've heard of that one. We'll escort her out...."