Make new friends, but keep the old...

What is it about old friends that we all love? Is it the ease of conversation, the realization that the passage of time has proven they're not going to desert us now, or the joy of reliving old stories? When the triplets were born, our lives became a bit overwhelming. It was all we could do to get DH to finish his MBA while working full-time and to feed three hungry little angels every 3-4 hours. By the time they were active toddlers, a new baby was on the way. Travel was limited and so we went years without seeing many of our favorite people. This is not because we didn't want to see them, it was simply because our home life was very demanding and wonderful at the same time. I often miss those sweet days with no preschool or school to attend and plenty of time to paint a picture or play in the yard or snuggle and read books. Of course we still do those things, but many times they take place on weekends due to the school day hours. DH & I went years without seeing many of you, our sweet old friends. Friendships that have stood the test of time are so wonderful and important. Thankfully we are finally starting to be able to see some old friends again. Our time is still limited, and we don't always get to see everyone we'd like to see in a town like Atlanta or Dallas, but we're starting to have opportunities for quick visits, hugs, and laughs. We just returned from such a trip to Dallas.

Dh & I were married in 1995 and I moved to Dallas, Texas, to join my new husband in a new life out west. We lived in Irving, TX for the first year and then moved into Dallas. We made lifelong friends during our 3 years in Dallas. Those first years of marriage are such a great time to make new friends. While new jobs are demanding, you have a lot of flexibility in the evenings and on weekends and plenty of time to cultivate new friendships. That is exactly what we did. Most of these friends are not just "Christmas Card friends" but friends we consider to be some of our closest friends. We made more close friends when we moved to Raleigh in 1998 and still didn't have any children. So, it was high time to see some of these dear friends. Delta offered a cheap fare and we bought 2 tickets for the quickest trip ever to DFW. We didn't have time to see all of our old friends as we would have enjoyed, but we visited with our 3 closest families and had a ball. We laughed and reminisced and just enjoyed time together.

Now we live away from our dear Raleigh friends too. It has been years since we have seen some of our college friends. I love our new friends in Tampa, and am enjoying getting to know them better and better. Making new friends has made me desire to reconnect with old friends too. So, if you are one of those old friends, watch out!! My next airfare deal may be a trip to see YOU!! And, if you have lost touch with old friends, spend the next month reconnecting. Write an email or send a handwritten letter (my favorite) or pick up the phone and give them a call.

When DH's sweet Daddy died we were amazed that old friends drove all the way from Texas to Macon, Georgia just for the funeral and visitation. One of them was fighting cancer and they were in their 70s, but they came to say goodbye to their old friend. A relationship with the Lord, then a strong family relationship, and then your friends are what life is all about. I know I'm waxing sentimental, but reach out to those old friends!!!! I sure do love mine!!!

Hospital & new Baby visits

It is a wonderful blessing to those you love to visit them when they are in the hospital.  It is a time when you can show them your love for them by taking time to sit and talk, bring them some "real food", or to admire a new baby.  

However, you have to be careful because people are often under a lot of stress when they're in the hospital whether it be for an uncomplicated surgery, a new baby, or fighting a severe illness.  Therefore, you should remember to put their needs before your own! :)

It's always a good time to try to check first to see if the patient is even up for visitors.  Sometimes it can be quite lonely in a hospital room, and patients would LOVE the distraction. Other times the hospital is very noisy & the patient is exhausted and needs some uninterrupted sleep.  

If you do visit, try to bring something little... a plant, some flowers, a trashy magazine, some food (my friend, K, made delicious cheese straws one Christmas; my friend, A, brought Krispy Kreme doughnuts; my friends A & MD brought chick fil A, etc).  Those things will brighten the patient's day.

While you are there, offer to water the flowers, get the patient a drink or some snacks, make phone calls, or help them in any way.  

Most importantly, make it a SHORT and SWEET visit, unless they beg you to stay.  I mean really, really beg you to stay!

I'll never forget going through in vitro & I had come home from the transfer and was absolutely exhausted and emotional.  Some precious friends came to visit and my husband and her husband started talking. THREE HOURS LATER, they left.  When D came to check on me, I blew up at him!! It was after 10pm, I had wanted to sleep, not talk for 3 hours (even though I LOVED the wife, I didn't want to talk to anyone for that long!)!!!  I was furious at D for not being a better "guard".  So, don't stay away, but don't stay too long either!

Once I was pregnant with the triplets I had to go to the hospital three or four different times.  I had made it to about 28 weeks and I had a complication that put me back in the hospital.  A friend from years ago drove 45 minutes to come and see me.  We had been acquaintances early in our marriage.  She was thrilled to leave 3 children with a neighbor, and stayed for HOURS.  I was on a bedpan, and needed to use the bathroom, but I was scared she would STAY.  It was awkward and made me very stressed, which was not good for the babies!! I am sure I had 100 contractions when she wouldn't leave!!

My sweet friend, S, just went to Heaven after having cancer for a little over a year.  She was so good about stating her needs, "Please come see me.  I want some posters for my room", or "I need a stuffed animal to hold and some cupcakes from my favorite place".  I rushed over with a stuffed animal before her final surgery and I am so thankful that I did.  Don't stay away, just know when to leave:).