Hospital & new Baby visits

It is a wonderful blessing to those you love to visit them when they are in the hospital.  It is a time when you can show them your love for them by taking time to sit and talk, bring them some "real food", or to admire a new baby.  

However, you have to be careful because people are often under a lot of stress when they're in the hospital whether it be for an uncomplicated surgery, a new baby, or fighting a severe illness.  Therefore, you should remember to put their needs before your own! :)

It's always a good time to try to check first to see if the patient is even up for visitors.  Sometimes it can be quite lonely in a hospital room, and patients would LOVE the distraction. Other times the hospital is very noisy & the patient is exhausted and needs some uninterrupted sleep.  

If you do visit, try to bring something little... a plant, some flowers, a trashy magazine, some food (my friend, K, made delicious cheese straws one Christmas; my friend, A, brought Krispy Kreme doughnuts; my friends A & MD brought chick fil A, etc).  Those things will brighten the patient's day.

While you are there, offer to water the flowers, get the patient a drink or some snacks, make phone calls, or help them in any way.  

Most importantly, make it a SHORT and SWEET visit, unless they beg you to stay.  I mean really, really beg you to stay!

I'll never forget going through in vitro & I had come home from the transfer and was absolutely exhausted and emotional.  Some precious friends came to visit and my husband and her husband started talking. THREE HOURS LATER, they left.  When D came to check on me, I blew up at him!! It was after 10pm, I had wanted to sleep, not talk for 3 hours (even though I LOVED the wife, I didn't want to talk to anyone for that long!)!!!  I was furious at D for not being a better "guard".  So, don't stay away, but don't stay too long either!

Once I was pregnant with the triplets I had to go to the hospital three or four different times.  I had made it to about 28 weeks and I had a complication that put me back in the hospital.  A friend from years ago drove 45 minutes to come and see me.  We had been acquaintances early in our marriage.  She was thrilled to leave 3 children with a neighbor, and stayed for HOURS.  I was on a bedpan, and needed to use the bathroom, but I was scared she would STAY.  It was awkward and made me very stressed, which was not good for the babies!! I am sure I had 100 contractions when she wouldn't leave!!

My sweet friend, S, just went to Heaven after having cancer for a little over a year.  She was so good about stating her needs, "Please come see me.  I want some posters for my room", or "I need a stuffed animal to hold and some cupcakes from my favorite place".  I rushed over with a stuffed animal before her final surgery and I am so thankful that I did.  Don't stay away, just know when to leave:).

Don't ask, just GO

My precious father-in-law passed away a week before Christmas after being sick with cancer for just 50 days.  He was such a vital part of our lives, and we all really miss him.  It is a pain that only those who have lost a parent can understand.  I can't imagine the pain of losing your spouse or your child.  I am praying the Lord knows I can't handle that kind of pain!

D's daddy died in the middle of the night & we found out around 6am.  I posted a quick post on our Caring Bridge website (strongly recommend if a loved one is really sick or you have a preemie baby, etc) to let our friends know that Papa was in Heaven rejoicing with His Heavenly Father.  I don't remember making phone calls, though I probably called my parents.  

What I do remember is that friends just showed up.  They didn't call & ask what to do, they just came.  A group started frantically wrapping Christmas gifts for me.  My mother & another friend stuffed our remaining Christmas cards that hadn't been mailed.  One friend brought her brother who was visiting from another state, and he helped load Santa's gifts onto our car roof.  The night before, friends had loaned us the rooftop luggage in case we needed it, and we did.  Another friend just followed me around as I packed.  She laughed and said she was no help, but you know what, she was of GREAT help.  I needed her company.  I needed the presence of the body of Christ!!  One friend came in the house, emptied one little trash can, and had to go back to attend to her 2 youngest children.  Some people wouldn't have stopped by because she was not of great physical help.  But she was of great help.  Again, I needed her hug and to know that she cared enough to drive to my house, even if she was not the one wrapping gifts or doing some other deed.  It was her presence.  We needed to get our five children and ourselves packed as quickly as possible.  These friends made it happen by unloading dishes, etc, but even more so by their presence.  We were able to focus rather than dissolving into tears.  Two friends called continuously throughout our 10 day trip (funeral in one state, burial in another, all with the stomach bug) and that brought me great comfort.  We felt so alone, and yet their calls reminded me that I am never alone!  God was with us & He used our friends to remind us.  I can't explain what that day meant to me.

Since Dec. 18th, I have been called to apply what I learned from that day.  Just 3 weeks after D's daddy died, friends lost their precious 2 year old.  We didn't have childcare options, so I sent D.  He just needed to go.  He couldn't take away their pain, but his presence brought them comfort.  Too often we think we might be in the way, or we should give someone their privacy, or we just don't want to be sad and uncomfortable, so we stay away.  I learned that you don't stay away.  You need to rearrange your schedule and just GO.  Go to their house & ask what you can do, but GO first.  If you ask on the phone, they probably don't even know their needs.  If they still don't know what they need, look around. Make a bed, put on a pot of coffee, pick up lunch for them, buy some flowers, check the laundry, or take out the trash.  Above all, make every effort to be there.

But not just immediately after the death.... you need to be there throughout the year and even years after that.  Be tender, think of others, and the Lord will bless you as you bless others.