How to make your multiples feel special....

As a mother of triplets, I fall into the trap of lumping them together as a unit. In many ways, that is what they are. However, they are also three very special individuals. Mothers of multiples must do everything they can to embrace their individuality and to encourage it. However, having multiples means your hands are very full. There are little things you can do to make your children feel special.

-Use errand time on the weekends as a time for each child to have time alone with Mama or Daddy. At our house, there are no strict rules and we don't keep a chart, but if DH is going to Lowe's, he'll choose a child to ride with him for "special time".

-Embrace the days you have with one sick child at home. My tendency is to use days at home to organize, clean, and cook while checking in on the sick child when it's convenient. Make yourself spend time with your child FIRST and then spend time doing your chores.

-Take all of the duplicate copies of photos and make an album of pictures of each individual child. Now that most people have a digital camera, you may not have duplicates of photos. If not, then use your Mac or Shutterfly or Snapfish and create a photo book of each individual child. My friend, MD, does this for her three children who are not multiples. Each year on their birthday they receive a book of their little life over the last year. What a keepsake!

-I have taken the doubles of our old photos and made photo albums for each child. They LOVE to look at themselves and have looked at these photo albums countless times more than I have looked at mine. I know they will treasure them forever!

-Prayerfully consider godparents for your children. Godparents share their love for the Lord with your children and can send them individual postcards or letters or just be a presence in their lives.

-As I've mentioned before, keep a journal for each child and let them know how you delight in them.

-Print pictures of them individually and together. Put these around your home.

-Assign each child a color when they are babies. This becomes part of their identity. To this day, friends know our trips as the lavender, pink, or green/blue baby. They used to be given gifts in these colors.

-Delight in their individual interests and allow each child to pursue one. It's great for them to do activities together, but if one child loves golf, let him do it. Five of us sit in a hot park while A takes his golf lessons each week. It's a good lesson that we all sacrifice our time for one another.

-Find bits of time to sit on each child's bed, hold them in your lap, read to them, cook with them, play with them, etc. Sometimes you have to work really hard to find just a few minutes with a child by themselves, but it is so worth it!

-Write them encouraging notes that highlight their individual personality.

-When the triplets were four, we took each of them on their own trip with at least one parent. It worked out that D went to Dallas with DH and me, A went with his Daddy to meet his uncle in Portland, Oregon, and CP went with me to see old friends in Memphis. To this day, they will recall events from those trips FOUR YEARS AGO. CP remembers running through the airport, Ash remembers changing planes & flying for a long time, and DJ still talks about our friend's son being sick. Those trips made a BIG impression. I hope we can do it again in the future. Little sis K went with her daddy to Baton Rouge to visit family last year. It's fun to do trips with just 1 or 2 children, and day trips or afternoon excursions work too!

-Most of all, love your multiples, delight in who each one is, and enjoy them!!!

The Ark

I am about to start building an ark. Instead of animals 2 by two, we're going to have little people and lizards two by two. It has rained. And RAINED. And RAINED some more. Our street is flooded, our pool is overflowing, and I am cooped up with 7 little people. Yes, you read that correctly. SEVEN. I thought it would be a good idea to have a playdate for 2 of the 5 children, because you know, what's 2 more? IN THE RAIN. Hmmmm Maybe I lacked a bit of judgement on that one! Little H decided it was not a good day for napping, despite the sound of the RAIN and the calming effects of the darker sky. So, now we are building our ark. What would your ark have? Mine is going to have a special "Mommy closet"... a room where I can go & no one else can come in while I FB and blog from the boat.

In all seriousness, despite the RAIN (did I mention it's raining here?) and the flooding it has brought with it, we've had a pretty good day. Now I doubt our 2 guests will nominate me for Mommy of the year based on my constant efforts to make everyone clean up, but we've had a pretty good time. I've also managed to strip 4 beds and wash the sheets, coverlets, etc. and put them back on the beds. I have one set left in the dryer & then that task will be complete. I've made a huge batch of chili for the weekend and I've accomplished some other household chores. Hopefully it will quit raining and I'll enjoy taking at least 5 munchkins to the store where some stranger is likely to ask, "Are they all YOURS?", to which I will reply, "Of course not. I always try to find a whole passel of children to bring with me to the grocery store. I mean, what could be more fun?"

The things people say...

With a big family, you receive unsolicited comments almost every time you are in public as a family! I have compiled a list of my favorites/most common comments!!!

1. Are they ALL YOURS??? (No, we kidnapped a couple of children and brought them along. NO, I couldn't stand going to the grocery store alone, I mean, who does that? So, I grabbed a couple of children from the neighborhood to come with me. It's much more fun to have a toddler jumping out of her seat on top of you as you reach for the milk. Five year olds crashing your heels with their little cart make the experience SO much more enjoyable. And the three 7 year-olds who take up the aisle make it a quick & easy trip!)

2. Are they NATURAL? (Egg and sperm, baby, egg and sperm. Same as you & me!! Now... sometimes we do think our toddler is supernatural with her ability to get out of any buckle, but that's another story)

3. Are they IDENTICAL? (Hmmm.... take a look, sweetie. Did you pass biology? I'm not sure you did. If you have a male and a female, they are called FRATERNAL. As far as the two girls go, look a little closer, they're fraternal too). Of course I am THINKING these things, not saying them!

4. Do you know what causes it (with a chuckle chuckle)? (365, baby! 365! My husband just can't keep his hands off of me...)

5. How did you end up with three? (Too many fun ways to answer this one!)

6. Will you have more? (I don't know, would you like to discuss your family planning?)

7. What about college? (We hope and pray they'll be smart enough to go! As far as paying for it, we wouldn't have had the first one if we were worried about college).

8. What will you do when they're teenagers? (Send them to your house!)

9. Is this a daycare? (It feels like it!)

10. Wow! How many do you have? (Jon & Kate plus 8 minus 3 minus the endorsements minus the stay-at-home dad)

11. You must be tired! (I am, but it is a blessed, happy, full tired!!)

12. Are you Catholic? (No, just a prolific Protestant)

13. How do you afford it? (Would you like to share your budget with me?)

14. Better you than me (from the words of Sarah Palin, "You betcha!")

15. You have your hands full! (Yes, we do! And we wouldn't have it any other way!)

Special Day

Being a triplet (or any multiple) can be a challenge because you share everything, including your birthday!!!  In college, I babysat for a family with three adopted children.  They celebrated the day each one of them joined their family and called it their day (for example, Caroline's Day).  It was their special day.  I remember asking what A's Day was  & I can still hear 4 year old A saying, "I get to pick the breakfast, the lunch, and the dinner" in her sweet little voice.  I loved this idea & now do something similar!

Our triplets came home from the hospital weeks apart from one another. SO.... the day they came home from the hospital is their SPECIAL DAY!!!  We try to do something really special on that day.  Now that they are older, I think we may start having mini-gatherings or mini birthday parties on each of their days.  It is a wonderful tradition & they all love THEIR day!:)

On each child's day, they choose something special for us to do, whether it be a night out or a special dinner.  When one daughter was just 4, she planned a cookout for her special day!  It changes a bit year to year, but the point is that each child feels special!!!

birthday party ideas for multiples

Having triplets is unique.  Planning birthday parties can become difficult if they are different sexes!  Our triplets are a boy and 2 girls.  They are now 7, and we have not had separate birthday parties yet, but I know that day will come.  For now, we have a big joint birthday party.  I have fun each year planning their parties, though they have started planning with me!  Imagine them having an opinion about their own party!  We've had different themes each year!  It's fun to think of parties with a boy/girl theme like these:

bug & butterfly party

knights & princesses

Our parties:

 age 1  ice cream party for all who volunteered, brought meals, were interested in the babies, prayed for us, helped us, etc. etc We invited over 100 people and baby A ate his entire cake!!!!

age 2 & 3  Easter Egg Hunt... they were born on Maundy Thursday, and this is a perfect birthday party!

age 4  Roger Day came & sang!! He is fantastic!  www.rogerday.com

age 5  Bugs & Butterflies... Not to brag, but I looked back at pictures & couldn't believe I made cute food like ladybug cookies, ants on a log, and triplets in a blanket.  I made bee t-shirts for the boys & gave each girl a pair of wings.  We had a Bug Hunt, Bug Parade, Bug Dance, and Bug crafts & face painting.  It was a fun party!

age 6  Knights & Princesses  We gave the boys shields that I found at the Dollar Store.  The girls wore their princess dresses and a horse and carriage took the children on rides throughout the neighborhood.  It was so much fun!

age 7  Breakfast at Chick Fil A   It was a great party & fall in the middle of everyone's Saturday.  We had minis and milk!! Parents were welcome to stay for cinni minis & chicken minis, coffee, and milk!  The cow made an appearance and the children LOVED it!

We're brainstorming for # 8!  Thankfully it is not too soon!!