Sunday, June 14, 2009


Summer has been a great gift to us, thanks to sweet DH working to support our travels!! We have been able to see friends and family, and DH (Darling Husband) has joined us when he can. The children and I have been from the mountains to the coast to the piedmont!! It has been wonderful. During our trip to Hilton Head, we were able to meet up with some dear friends. The morning we were planning to meet them, I became a person I don't want to be. For some reason, I became very nervous about how I looked and what I was wearing since I hadn't seen them in 5 months. These friends are genuine enough that they did not care how we showed up, so it was no reflection on them. And we were meeting for a day on the beach and by the pool, not for a FASHION Show. I think somewhere in my mind I wanted to be the new and improved, skinnier, healthier, more beautiful-on-the- outside Henley on the Horn. I became so worked up that I was ugly to my precious family, the people I love the most. And I forgot all about where you find true beauty.... which is on the inside. The way I acted was like I had no idea that I am made in God's image, that I am the perfect "me" (not perfect, just the perfect ME), and that my heart is much more important than outer adornments.
Thankfully the Lord gave me a husband who asked me what I was doing when my head quit spinning and I was no longer yelling at everyone. I am so thankful for the man the Lord gave me because I needed to hear it. (Proverbs says, "Just as iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another". I am so grateful for my sharpener!!) DH was so right!!! If seeing dear old friends brings out the worst in me, then I need to stay home!!! Let me just tell you, I thanked him and hugged him, and cried, and asked for everyone's forgiveness. I had not treated my family as they should be treated. I had let them all down all because of my own sins and insecurities. I was taught a valuable lesson, and I did not ruin one more minute of our vacation. My priorities were all wrong. Our sweet friends could care less what we were wearing. They just wanted to spend time with us. My children do not care that I don't look like Angelina Jolie or my friends. Those sweet little things think I am the most beautiful mama in the world because of how I love them when I am not acting like I did that day!!
Sometimes we let our priorities get out of whack and we weight the things of this world above even God. The rest of our vacation, I prayed that the Lord would make me beautiful on the inside, and for most of the time, He did!! I am thankful that He took away my insecurities and I have been able to return to my hometown to love on friends and family, not to impress them. It is OKAY that I don't really look any different than I did when I left or that I haven't acquired a movie star's figure and wardrobe. Those who truly love me are just happy to see me. And those that don't are not my concern. I'm just happy to be here to see everyone!! I am thankful for this bad situation because good did come out of it... I am no longer worried about how I am perceived, and I can just enjoy my time!! Isn't it delightful when the Lord changes your heart?!


pink green & southern said...

You are such an inspiring woman of faith and I am so glad to know you! Thanks for your all your words of wisdom!

Imjustagirl said...

I am so sorry for your "insecurity breakdown" I think it is something everyone faces at some point and as you learned it is how we lean to deal with it that matters. It takes a strong beautiful woman to realize she was caught up in the wrong direction and a wonderful loving family to keep her grounded and moving in the right direction!

EntertainingMom said...

I read this post last night (really really late) and I was too tired to respond but wanted to... I think we all tend to be hard on ourselves... we strive for perfection. We strive to put our best foot forward and we strive to do the very best, both on the inside and the outside. I don't think there is anything wrong with that. Sometimes, however, it is easy to get carried away in our realistic goals. I think we are our own worst critics. Other eyes are much kinder and gentler, are they not? I think, from reading along with you these past couple of months, that you are truly beautiful inside and out. I don't think blow-ups are bad either (as long as there are appologies!) as oftentimes they do help us see the truth!

Repeat after me: I am grogeous!!! ;)

The B Family said...

Isn't it sad how easy it is to let our ugly sides come out when we're with the ones we love most and how hard we work to make a good impression on mere acquaintances? I am certainly guilty of it but don't like it about myself at all. I can use a priority-checking on a regular basis. Thanks for writing such an insightful, heartfelt post.