Friday, November 6, 2009
FAILED FAILED FAILED!!!
Mama Henley's body has been through quite a lot in the past 10 years. It spent 4 years struggling with infertility and countless tests, probes, pricks, and medicines. Then, the old girl went through laparoscopic surgery, IVF (in vitro fertilization), ovarian overstimulation, and the conception of 3 beautiful babies. This body then carried those little ones for 30 weeks while my hormones raged and moaned and my uterus went where no uterus should go. Granted, Kate Gosselin's uterus stretched even further, but I'm just saying that my uterus was stretched to hither and beyond and it hasn't been the same since!! Within a year and a half, the old uterus was back to nurturing a baby as our 4th little angel was born 2 years after the triplets. A few years later, I had our 5th blessing. Needless to say, my body is not perfect like so many of yours. The days of wearing a small size are behind me. A struggle with weight and exercise has resulted.
As a young girl, I had three bad experiences that made me struggle with enjoying exercise. I was on a soccer team in the 4th grade with a bunch of 6th grade girls who were better than a bunch of 6th grade boys (and handsome like a boy too but that's another story!) I was a beginner and they were just hateful to me. I probably had some soccer skill, but I felt like a failure. I dropped the sport.
My appendix ruptured when I was 7, leaving a terrible scar and an ache whenever I run fast. As a middle schooler, one of my best camp friends was an EXCELLENT advanced tennis player. She would walk past me in my advanced beginner class and laugh at me for being in such a low class compared to her. I should have known then that she was not a true friend, but I didn't learn that until years later. I felt like a failure once again. The sad thing is that I had potential with tennis. When I have played as an adult, I have good aim. The ball goes where I want it to go the majority of the time. But I lost all confidence in myself.
Fast forward through years of trying aerobics, step aerobics, yoga, pilates, zia, etc. and so forth. When I go to group exercise classes, I freeze. I decided to buy a Wii fit with my birthday money. I was so excited on the day I took that baby out of the box. I chose a cute computerized imagine to be me. I went through setting everything up and then it was time for some tests. "No problem", I thought to myself. "I can do some balance tests!"
The first exercise for balance was trickier than I thought it would be. It took me a few minutes to even understand how I was supposed to keep in the blue lines. The Wii responded, "You're not very balanced, are you? Do you trip a lot?" FAILED FAILED FAILED. "What?", I thought. "No computer gets to tell Mama Henley she failed!!! You better watch out, you Wii Fit, you. I"ll STOMP on you & you know that won't feel good!!!"
The Wii Fit had me at hello. That little booger was not going to tell me I failed!!! I tried more balance exercises and thought, "I'm going to show YOU, you little Wii Fit, you." Again the words, "FAILED" flashed across the screen. FAILED FAILED FAILED. They might as well have been in flashing lights attached to the front of our house. I looked around to make sure I was indeed alone. "What? What do you mean I FAILED? I can keep my body at a funny angle so that you believe I am BALANCED. I am NOT UNbalanced. There is just no way I can't do this!" I switched to the mental exercises. I remember names and numbers and how to get to places I've only been once. No memory exercise can trump THIS girl, let me tell you. Well, at least until I tried the Wii Fit memory exercises. Something happened. The Wii Fit flashed those dreaded words again: FAILED. Now we were going to fight. Mama Henley's mind is a steel trap with a memory like an elephant. Do you want to know my 3rd grade best friends' phone number? 782-1340 or 787-1641. It's all there. Do you want to know my favorite college phone number? Right side left side zero. Look at your phone and dial 369-1470. I probably know 80% of the addresses on our Christmas list, and with almost 300 names, that's quite a mental feat. Oh no, not according to the Wii Fit. I FAILED FAILED FAILED. So began my quest to beat this machine. I've only been on the Wii Fit for a few days, but the day will come when you will hear the words shouted from the mountain tops. "PASSED PASSED PASSED. You are a balanced instructor level professional and you ROCK!!" Okay, Wii Fit, the challenge is ON!