Monday, February 2, 2009

Will the truth set her free?

Wow. The truth has been revealed!! The latest news revealed that the mother of the octuplets is seeking at least 2 million for book deals and t.v. appearances on Oprah or for interviews with Diane Sawyer. Will the media succumb to paying for this woman's 'advice'? She is touting herself as a childcare expert... do we agree?

I need to clarify a few things. I love children. I would have more children if it's God's will. However, I would not have more children if I were a single mother of five who are ages 7 and under. It is just about physically impossible to care for 5 children on your own. It would be even more difficult if one of our children had autism, like one of the octuplets' siblings. This Nadya Suleman has SIX children and NO husband. She is a single mother whose parents bought her small home. She is unemployed. She has now stated that she hopes to pocket several million dollars because of her sage advice as a mother. I am not sure this is a woman who practices wisdom. Is there wisdom in bringing more children into a home that already has SIX children and no father? Is there wisdom in pursuing extreme infertility treatment when you are a single mother of 6?

I have so many questions. In vitro fertilization raises many ethical questions. I have wrestled through each of them myself and with my husband because we had an unknown transportation issue that was discovered after laparoscopy to determine why we were not able to conceive. We prayed and prayed over this procedure and its ramifications. WE prayed. I didn't go through this decision alone. We sought advice and prayer from our minister. Prior to our infertility issues, I had very strong opinions on IVF, frozen embryos, et cetera. My strong opinions were because I was uneducated on the issue. I had no idea why I believed what I believed but I had some strong opinions against it. Then we found out that due to appendix that ruptured when I was 7, I was missing an ovary and had severely damaged tubes on both sides. There was no transportation to allow me to conceive. DH & I wanted a baby so badly, and after several more months of trying, it was determined that our only choices were IVF or adoption. We sought IVF because it was thought to be a transportation problem. We did not enter this decision lightly. It was expensive. It involved time off of work, countless blood draws, and strong medication.

We wrestled with these things: It might not work. The medication might overstimulate me. I could become depressed, gain weight, and have the Lupron crazies. We could have no embryos, or we could have too many embryos which would leave us with a decision to make about any remaining embryos. After much prayer and many tears, we felt the Lord was saying it was okay to try IVF.

The doctors hoped I would be pregnant with ONE. A few weeks later, they were SHOCKED to learn that there were THREE babies. A nurse immediately offered us selective reduction. We refused. God had given us these babies, and we could not choose to get rid of one of them. The risks were numerous for the babies and even for me. I understand why Nadya Suleman didn't want to reduce. How DO you choose? But why, oh why, would a SINGLE mother of SIX allow EIGHT embryos to be implanted? I understand her feeling a responsibility to those embryos since she had some remaining. However, there are ways to implant the embryos aggressively with aggressive fertility drugs or to put them in the body and let them naturally implant or not implant. I wonder if she should have chosen the latter since she already had several children. I question if she really wanted "just one more girl" or if she wanted fame and fortune.

Jon & Kate plus 8 is a great show. DH won't watch it because he says it is too much like real life, but I have seen it and liked it. However, are shows like this causing people to seek fame and fortune by seeing who has the most babies? The Duggers are another example. They have 18 children. That is way too many for me personally, but you can't help but applaud them for the RESPONSIBLE way they are raising their children. They have NO debt. I can't say the same; we do have a mortgage. They make everything they possibly can and very carefully shop for clothes and shoes. They exercise WISDOM. Miss Suleman has exercised virtually no wisdom. The Duggers are a TEAM. They are married. All of their children share responsibility for household duties. I have 5 children under age 7, while Miss Suleman has 6. Our children are too young to completely take care of one another. The Duggers have older children who assist with the younger children. The Suleman children can bring Mama a diaper or give someone some Cheerios, but their ability to help is limited by their age.

Our reproductive endocrinologist took IVF very seriously. She explained that a high rate of multiple births actually hurts their ratings. They were trying to give their patients A baby... not many babies. Where was this doctor? Did he/she carefully screen his patient? If the doctor believes he did the right thing, then why is he not defending his decision to implant EIGHT embryos in a young woman? Usually doctors increase the number of embryos implanted based on the mother's age... but this was a 33 year-old woman, not a 53 year-old woman!

I do understand a single woman's desire to have a baby. Had I not married, I would still have a very strong desire to have a baby and to be a mama. Miss Suleman had that desire granted with the first six babies. I don't understand why a doctor would allow her to aggressively pursue even more babies. Have fertility treatments become a way to pursue fame and fortune? Should any of us watch this woman on t.v.? Should Oprah pay her for an interview? Who will watch her children while she prances around the country doing interviews and book deals? Who paid for her infertility treatments? I don't want more government in my life making decisions for me. This story scares me about the state of our nation. We have pushed God out of schools and out of our lives, yet we so desperately need Him more than ever. I know I can't expect a non-believer to use godly wisdom, but this whole story is too much to comprehend.


pink green & southern said...

Amen, sister!

Preppy Pettit said...

Have you heard about the condition of her home? Yeah, umm no grass,just dirt. Duct tape covering the cracked windows, ect.. and her Mom said she will no longer help her with childcare. This woman is CRAZY, and the doctor that implanted 8 embryos! If that is not unethical, what is?

Tickled Pink And Green said...

The whole thing is ridiculous! And she receives about $500 from the govt a month.

And I've yet to hear anyone say how she paid for the invitro! Is it FREE in Cali or what??