Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Any good book on marriage stresses that the relationship of husband and wife should come before the relationship of parent and child. That being said, when you have young children, this can become quite a challenge. Young children are physically demanding, and they are usually found wrapped around their Mama or Daddy. Therefore, it is difficult to put your marriage first in day to day situations.
One of my favorite Bible Study leaders, Laura, used to have "couch time" with her husband. As soon as he walked in the door, their 3 boys knew it was "couch time" and only Mama and Daddy could sit on the couch. The boys were to entertain themselves for 15 minutes while the parents shared about their day. This short amount of time showed the boys that Mama and Daddy were putting their relationship first. What a great visual reminder!
With 5 little ones at home, "couch time" does not work for us. Perhaps I'm also not that organized to have dinner ready so that I have 15 minutes to spend on the sofa! DH & I spend time together every evening after the children are in bed and we try to remind the children to "let us talk" when we are trying to talk to one another.
My favorite thing to do with DH is to get away for a night or two or three. I struggle being away for more than 3 nights, but I LOVE a quick getaway where I can focus on D and our marriage. It's nice not to wipe anyone's bottom, cut anyone's food, or be interrupted 22 times. As I type right now, I am being interrupted by 3 of our 5 children and a fourth is probably on her way!!! Time away for husband and wife is SO IMPORTANT. You need this time to focus on one another, talk about your relationship with the Lord and each other, and to just relax. If you have never had time away with your spouse, make it happen. If you don't have family who are physically able to watch your children, then ask a friend. If you are being prideful and just won't ask your mother-in-law, then lose your pride and ask her. Your in-laws would probably be delighted to help! If you think your friends won't help, then ask each friend to take one child or simply hire a sitter. There are plenty of capable young women who would love to earn extra money by babysitting. If you don't know any sitters, ask around at your child's school, preschool, or your church!! If DH & I can leave our 5 with a sitter, so can you!! This is such an important part of your marriage!
DH & I celebrated his birthday in July at Half Moon in Jamaica. To say it was fabulous is an understatement!!! I hesitated to share the name of the place because I don't want them to overbook so that I can't come back!! The people of Jamaica were fantastic and we adored this resort! I'll share more about Half Moon soon! Go ahead & book your little getaway with your spouse!! You can always go to a local hotel for just one night if nothing else!