Saturday, August 21, 2010

Our D


Our D is a special girl. She has a very tender and loving heart, great enthusiasm for school, and a strong ability to decipher right and wrong. We just love those qualities in her! Have you ever had a moment where you thought you were parenting well, when indeed you were not? Well, I've had many of those moments this week! One of our children needed help finishing her summer reading. She had one book left, and it was just taking her a long time to complete it with all of the distractions of summer fun, visitors, and loud siblings. I dedicated an afternoon to helping her finish the book by reading to her in my bedroom. It was a sweet time together while the other four read or played.

On Monday, I had told D that I would spend special time reading to her that night since I had spent so much time reading to her sister. D doesn't need me to read to her, but she desired the closeness that she saw me experiencing with her sister. I said I would spend that time with her without realizing that I would be at her school that evening for Orientation, and therefore, I would be unable to read to her. Tuesday morning she asked me about it, and I told her I would spend special time with her that evening. The day became full with many distractions and activities, and by bed time, I simply wanted everyone in bed for their first day of school. I told D I could not read to her when she asked me during the flurry of our nighttime routine.

DH heard tears from the child who had not finished her book, so he asked me to please finish the last chapter with her. We sat downstairs and finished the book. I felt confident I was doing the right thing by helping our child. Then D quietly came down the stairs with tears brimming in her sweet big brown eyes. "Mama, you have hurt my feelings," D said meekly.
"How have I hurt your feelings, D?", I asked. She explained that I had told her that I could not read to her, when it was past her time, yet I took the time to read to her sister.
It struck me and it hurt. She was right. I thought I was doing the right thing by helping her sister, but in so doing, I had inadvertently hurt our other child whom I had promised I would spend time reading with her. Wow. I confessed my mistake and asked for her forgiveness. Though it was past her bedtime and the night before school started, we spent time making brownies together for the teachers. D was so thrilled to have that one -on-one attention, and I was so blessed to spend it with her. I am so thankful for how the Lord uses our children to teach us. I am thankful for D's gentle nature. She did not berate me, rather, she very quietly explained how she had been hurt. We are told in the Bible to go to the one who has offended us, and that is just what she did! We are so thankful for our precious D!!!

10 comments:

Sweet Southern Prep said...

What a sweet story! The Lord works in such wonderful ways, especially when he speaks to us through children. :)

Semi-Slacker Mom said...

That made me cry. With more than one child, it is hard to give each of them the quality time they deserve. And my Sassy is very high-maintence, so I really understand where you are coming from.

Lissa said...

parenting is such hard work! We constantly make mistakes! It's a good thing your daughter knew she could come to you and I'll bet she sure enjoyed baking those brownies!

Preppy Pink Crocodile said...

Aw, what a great lesson for all of us to follow through on our word. It's so easy to push aside the ones we love becaue we know their love is unconditional. How awesome thought that y'all had your special time together!

Housewife Bliss said...

loved reading this, one of the hardest things I battle with is being a 100% to each child rather than 33% to each of them...the fact of the matter is that the squeaky wheel gets the grease in our house, and it sounds like you darling D and my darling M are very much alike. This was a great reminder, tomorrow I am going to make sure that my darling M gets a little more than she asks for.

Donna said...

I remember little things like that about raising our 3 children. It is so hard to fit time in for it all and it is so special for them. How neat that she had your apoology and one on one time...they are both wonderful for her. Reading time is a quiet time that I think you always have wonderful memories of...good post!!

bevy said...

You know, while I was reading this post (last night), J came up to me and said, "Put that away. You need to snuggle with me. Right. now. I want my mommy to be with just me!"

Needless to say, I was absolutely not able to comment last night! And quite timely I might add... xox

Frances said...

That sweet Della wanting her mama! love!

3 Peanuts said...

Oh I have been there too. And it seems to be the middle one that gets hurt here. Thank you for tis reminder and your honesty. Big Hugs!

Trish said...

Mama Henley, you know how much I adore you and your whole gorgeous family! I hope sweet D enjoyed her special time with you. I recall feeling similar emotions, but in the end, as a child of a large family (by today's standards), I know deep down your D understands that you were spreading your wonderful Motherly love amongst her sibligns, and as she gets older she will appreciate it. This is a great story, and I appreciate your beautiful way of telling it.

I've had this post starred in my reader for two days now, sorry it took me until tonight to come visit, I have two ill family members in the hospital that I have been spending every spare moment with. Also, wanted to tell you, I TOTALLY agree with your comment RE: Coco's wedding - I know her through friends in the NYC Fashion world where I spent the beginning of my career, so I can understand how it might seem staged...as a model she is so used to posing for pictures..I just know ultimately her album will capture the true essence of their romance as you and I are more traditionally accustomed to. The longer clip posted gives a more balanced view of their romance and appreciation for their special day.

Hugs to you and sending the little ones a wonderful wish for a great school year ahead! xoxo
With love, Trish