Monday, May 11, 2009

On Waiting

Some of us become mothers very easily. For some, too easily. Babies are born to teenagers or women who aren't ready to face the responsibility. For others, it is a painful process that becomes quite frustrating. I was in the latter category. I always knew I would have lots of children. I was a great babysitter, I ran summer camps for preschoolers, and then I became a teacher. My life always involved little people. Then I met the man of my dreams and we married. We couldn't wait to have children. I distinctly remember a conversation where we discussed how many children we hoped to have and we both said, "4". We were ready after being married about 2 years. Friends around us started having babies. The "baby itch" became stronger and stronger. We were ready.

Then the waiting began. We waited. And we waited. And we waited. No baby. No baby bump. No morning sickness. Nothing. My monthly visitor continued to rear her ugly head and each time, I was filled with disappointment which soon turned to sadness. Why? Why would the Lord allow this to happen to ME??? I LOVED children. I didn't understand. Why was it so easy for others and yet so difficult for us? I felt persecuted. I was sad. Anger entered the picture too. I had more than one pity party. I had a hard time at baby showers. It felt like every woman in America was 9 months pregnant and surrounding me. It was not a happy time.

But during this time, the Lord was with me. He was with my sweet husband. Though we despaired, He was with us. He carried us through those sad days. Our despair became HOPE. The Lord has a plan for each of us. He tells us so in Jeremiah 29:11. He wants the BEST for us. God's best is not always our personal best, but it is always THE BEST. Sometimes the the truth about why a situation was the best is revealed to us. Sometimes we must wait until Heaven for the Lord to reveal it to us. And some things we may never understand.

Yesterday was a happy day for many of us, but a day of sadness for just as many. Some people faced a day without their mama here to see and love. Some mamas faced the day without their husband. Still others faced a day with empty arms and an empty cradle. Others spent the day mourning the loss of their sweet baby or child. But the Lord is a Lord of HOPE and He alone can turn your mourning into dancing. My husband read a book with that title by Henri Nouwen and it really comforted him after his father died. If yesterday was a tough day for you, know that the Lord is with you. And He is GOOD. He is full of ETERNAL hope.


EntertainingMom said...

it's hard to wait... it's hard to appreciate the waiting until the waiting is done. you post was very eloquently written... much more so than my rambling!

Henley on the Horn said...

No, your writing was perfecT!!!

pink green & southern said...

So eloquently put and so true. After waiting almost 8 years for Pinkie to join our family, I have grown to appreciate the beauty of God's timing vs. my own!

Miss Janice said...

Just stopped by to say congrats on winning the McKims and read this beautiful!