Tuesday's Tip

Adding a new baby to a family is SUCH an exciting time for everyone. At the same time, change can be hard. It doesn't mean you're not thrilled with the change, but a little bit of sadness or even mourning over a season of life ending is normal. I think most parents experience a little of that with each new addition. I would imagine that the biggest sense of guilt or sadness happens when a family goes from having one child to having two. Parents may feel they are robbing the first child of special time when actually they are giving that child the greatest gift ever by giving him or her a sibling. Since we had triplets first, I have never known that feeling because we went from 0 to 3 in a matter of minutes!! It was exciting and fun to welcome the triplets two younger sisters. With the birth of number 5, I did feel like that our older children were old enough to really miss me while I was in the hospital following my third c-section. We were blessed at the time because the 4 oldest (3 5-year olds and a 3-year old) were able to spend alternating nights with their grandparents. We knew they would be so happy.

However, I wanted them to hear something special from me each day that I was away. The night before my c-section, I sat down and wrote the children a letter to be read to them each day I was away. I let them know how excited I was for them to meet their new baby sister and that she was going to love them so much. I told them about the fun they would enjoy with their grandparents and how much I loved them. They treasured these notes and I recently found one in number 4's drawer.

I also do this when DH and I go away for a little trip. It's nice for the children to know how much they are loved by you when you're not there physically to tell them. If something ever were to happen to us, they would treasure those notes forever.

The night before our wedding, I wrote letters to each of my parents and my brothers. I remember sitting in my room crying because my life as a little girl in my parents' house was over and my new life as a grown woman was beginning at age 23. I could hardly WAIT to be Mrs. Mama Henley, but it was also sad to walk out those doors for the last time as a girl with my maiden name. I hope my love for my parents and brothers was conveyed in those letters.

In today's world of twitters, texts, emails, facebook, and voice mails, the written word is almost lost in many respects. Gone are the days of long love letters and in their place are abbreviated messages. Take the time to tell those that you love why you love them, and write it down. They'll treasure it.