Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Tuesday's Tip

Adding a new baby to a family is SUCH an exciting time for everyone. At the same time, change can be hard. It doesn't mean you're not thrilled with the change, but a little bit of sadness or even mourning over a season of life ending is normal. I think most parents experience a little of that with each new addition. I would imagine that the biggest sense of guilt or sadness happens when a family goes from having one child to having two. Parents may feel they are robbing the first child of special time when actually they are giving that child the greatest gift ever by giving him or her a sibling. Since we had triplets first, I have never known that feeling because we went from 0 to 3 in a matter of minutes!! It was exciting and fun to welcome the triplets two younger sisters. With the birth of number 5, I did feel like that our older children were old enough to really miss me while I was in the hospital following my third c-section. We were blessed at the time because the 4 oldest (3 5-year olds and a 3-year old) were able to spend alternating nights with their grandparents. We knew they would be so happy.

However, I wanted them to hear something special from me each day that I was away. The night before my c-section, I sat down and wrote the children a letter to be read to them each day I was away. I let them know how excited I was for them to meet their new baby sister and that she was going to love them so much. I told them about the fun they would enjoy with their grandparents and how much I loved them. They treasured these notes and I recently found one in number 4's drawer.

I also do this when DH and I go away for a little trip. It's nice for the children to know how much they are loved by you when you're not there physically to tell them. If something ever were to happen to us, they would treasure those notes forever.

The night before our wedding, I wrote letters to each of my parents and my brothers. I remember sitting in my room crying because my life as a little girl in my parents' house was over and my new life as a grown woman was beginning at age 23. I could hardly WAIT to be Mrs. Mama Henley, but it was also sad to walk out those doors for the last time as a girl with my maiden name. I hope my love for my parents and brothers was conveyed in those letters.

In today's world of twitters, texts, emails, facebook, and voice mails, the written word is almost lost in many respects. Gone are the days of long love letters and in their place are abbreviated messages. Take the time to tell those that you love why you love them, and write it down. They'll treasure it.

17 comments:

EntertainingMom said...

You were still a baby when you got married!!!! :)

A lovely thought to write letters... we still do from time to time.

Jo said...

So sweet and I'm certain they loved getting these from their momma.
I've written letters to my son through the years commenting on what he is doing or events going on at that time. He doesn't know I've done this. One day when he is a father {many, many,many, years from now} I'll share this with him. For now, they are tucked away in his baby bin in the attic.

Jo

Trish said...

Oh, I LOVE THIS POST. As convenient as technology makes communication, there is nothing like a thoughtful hand written note. Your kids will treasure your letters for years to come, I cherish all of my notes and cards from my parents still and even MORE as an adult. XOXO

Imjustagirl said...

That is such a wonderful idea! I hope one day to be as good of a momma as you!! I do remember crying ok sobbing before my wedding because I was leaving my childhood but I was so thrilled and excitted to be going from Ms. B to Mrs. Z!! Thanks for sharing I know your family will treasure those letters!!

Lauren said...

I always MAKE a nice little note for my daughter when she takes her lunch. Just a few love words on a felt Princess Leia sends her over the moon!

Kyndall said...

Great post Mama Henley! I write notes all the time, it is a great way to show someone you love that you have taken the time to get out pen and paper to think of them!

Travelbug Mom said...

How true! It's seems that I don't really think about it until I HAVE to. When my children have received sacraments, it is suggested that you and other members of the family write them letters. Also, my high schoolers have gone on retreats and we again are encouraged to write them letters for them to have while away. I MUST DO IT MORE OFTEN...oh and the sibling letters to each other are so cute!
Once again - GREAT TIP

Housewife Bliss said...

so very true, I keep a memory journal for my children to write down trivial things -- just incase I get hit by a bus. and letters, I adore letter, people should send them more often, there is something rather special about seeing a written letter. Love Jo's idea about a letter to her son...hmm, might take that one.

Love Being a Nonny said...

I love the written word. I think that is one of the reasons I like blogging so much.

I wrote me children letters as they were growing up. (First day if school, etc.) So nice to have those notes now to reflect back on.

This was a great post. Thanks.

pink green & southern said...

I bet your family treasures those letters so very much. My parents wrote me letters before I graduated from high school and oh how I treasure them. I keep them in my Bible and still cry when I read them.

Ruby Red Slippers said...

This is a GREAT idea! I am one to always write a letter-I love stationary, and pretty paper, but as you pointed out, the message of love is not one to put off-
I need to go write a letter-

2 Little Irish Boys said...

This is such a great tip that we all seem to forget sometimes--thanks for the reminder!
Also, about the gray--you would be surprised how much it goes with. Oh, a friend of mine did "amazing gray" from Sherwin Williams--great color but too much taupe for me--might check it out. She loves it and says it goes with everything!!

bevysblog said...

You are such a dear! I need to do more of that. Sometimes, S and J write me little notes. I keep them in my Bible. I should take their lead...

Grateful for Grace said...

I think that's so true. Now that my mom is gone, I treasure even more the things written in her handwriting.

3 Peanuts said...

SO true...there is nothing like a hand written love letter:)

Felicia said...

What a sweet post and wonderful words of wisdom!

The Hayden Family said...

Old fashioned correspondence is a dying art.

I love your ideas. You're amazing.